My ward is officially obsessed with dating. Not only do we have a Dating Committee, we also have a dating suggestion box, a ward date night, a weekly dating reminder in church and email, and this past week we had a Dating Panel for the last hour of church. I initially thought that we were going a little overboard, but I knew that things had gone too far when I received an email from the bishop with a list of girls that he and his wife believe were destined for me to go out with. The moment I opened the email I burst out into laughter.
The girls in the ward didn’t know that they had been matched up to all the men in the ward, but of course I felt the need to tell all of my girls that they were being matched to men, and they weren’t the most amused. One of my best friends was tempted to ask the bishop whose list she had been put on so she knows who she should get all gussied up for. Not only was the bishop setting up dates for the guys in the ward, but if you have ever stepped into the room where we hold church, you too received an email. My old roommate was thoroughly confused with his email to date a few girls from our ward because he had moved out of the ward several months before.
Ward date night has been a work in the making for the past couple of semesters, and while it has only been executed this semester, we’ve been hearing about it for forever. When the bishop first brought it up in Elders’ Quorum, he said, “Guys, we need to start dating within the ward. The girls are not going on dates, and let’s face it, they are getting desperate.” My ears perked up like Scooby Doo’s and I sent a text to the girls in Relief Society. Let’s just say that they weren’t too happy being called desperate.
The dating suggestion box has become my apple of Eris. How it works is that a box is brought to our ward activities and anyone can put a boy’s name and a girl’s name on a piece of paper, put it in the box, and then the lucky two are set up on a blind date. So at ward activities, I never take my eye off the box and I swoop in every couple of minutes to submit a match-made-in-hell. Have you ever said anything bad about me? Into the box! Said anything bad about my friends? BOX! Are you loud late at night? THE BOX! Do I just not like your face? The box will be waiting for you. . . . I realize that it is mean of me and that I am using the box for evil, but I just can’t help to get sweet, vindictive, secretive revenge.
I guess my big issue is that I think that church should be just that… church. But somewhere there has been a disconnect and now we are operating as eHarmony as well. Yes, I know that it is important to date and get married, but it does not need to be forced. During the ward dating panel I was so tempted to scream out that exact sentiment, but was not sure if I would be booed out of church or lifted out of my chair in applause, so I sat in agony for an hour while we received dating advice from the engaged/married in our ward. One of my good friends was abducted onto the dating panel and she immediately came up to me after church to apologize because she was just early for church and they asked, so she couldn’t turn them down. If she was single, I would probably give her a horrible date in the suggestion box just for laughs.
